Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed because your parents don’t seem to care about what you want? Are you not sleeping at night because you wanted a small wedding and now his Mom just gave you a list for 200 people and she isn’t even paying? Are you surrounded by people who seem to be whining about your wedding instead of supporting and helping you?
It just isn’t fair! It’s your wedding and everyone thinks they have a say in it.
It is time to take back your wedding, your dreams and your sanity.
Begin writing in a journal. Make it part of your morning routine. Keep it next to your bed and every morning before you get out of bed start your day by writing 3 pages. Write whatever comes to your mind and do not filter your thoughts or feelings. This is for you and you alone, so do not let anyone else read it. Use this journal to explore your wedding dreams and fantasies, use it to write about who you are mad at, disappointed in. Express yourself, journal about your fears. Use these pages to get out all your anger, confusion and frustration. You will want to finish these pages with a gratitude list; even if you are not feeling grateful write the list anyway. Keep this journal going till your wedding day. And remember always, have 1 page or 1 paragraph to focus on what you love and what you are grateful for.
Get clear on the wedding you want and the number of people you want to have. Your morning journaling will help you find the clarity. Write down your wedding dreams- your likes, dislikes, your vision. Again Do Not Edit yourself. This is your place to become clear. Write about your money fears and concerns, your fiancee, your parents, his parents, your grand ma. Create a vision board of pictures that express who you are and what you want your wedding to be like. If you are clear in your vision, dreams and wish list it will become easier for you to filter and deflect all the chatter.
Schedule a sit down with your particular “crazy maker” and have a calm discussion about your wedding. Do it someplace local, like your favorite café or restaurant. Do not have this conversation at home, it will be too easy to have tempers fly and doors slam. Thank this person for all their help, input and amazing ideas. Let them know that you have heard their request and would love to honor it but here is where you are stuck. If it is monetary ask them, calmly if they can contribute. If it is about inviting 100 people you never met find out why this list is so important and who is a “must have invitee and why”. Then be prepared to compromise. Your wedding is one day in your life and chances are your “crazy maker” is someone you have an ongoing relationship with. Make it clear to this person that you would be more than happy to include them in your wedding, however, they need to schedule time with you to have these conversations.
Choose the path that will make you the happiest and bring you the most amount of joy. It is so easy to be right, but that does not always bring us happiness and joy. Choose happy, it is infectious and will give you a healthier life.
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Grace, Gratitude and Happy Planning!